I have never been the "bash your child's sperm donor" type, however I can only take so much. Ten years. That's how long I have raised your son. Ten years. That's how long it's been since you've seen him. Six months. That's how long it's been that I reached out to you so that A'vion could meet you- his idea, not mine. Six months. That's how long you've had excuse after excuse and never met him. 2 days. That's when you texted me around one in the morning saying you wanted to see A'vion the next day. Against my better judgment, I agreed for you to let me know when you made it to town so that y'all could meet. 24 hours. That's how much time passed without hearing a peep from you. So I texted you. There was so much I wanted to say to you. But after praying about it, all I said was that I would no longer reach out to you. When Avion turns 18 and decides that he wants to meet I will fully support him 100% but until then...
I want you know...
that you're missing out on an amazing kid.
Other than wanting to get to know you,
he didn't want shit.
I want you to know...
that it's been 10, long stressful years.
Although I wasn't ready for motherhood,
I still put aside those fears.
I want you know...
that your antics don't hurt me at all.
They hurt the child you help create,
But I'm there to catch his every fall.
I want you to know...
because of you Avi knows what disappointment is like.
& because of me he knows what unconditional love
feels like because I give it with all my might.
I want you to know...
that I don't know what it's like to not have a dad.
I was blessed with two of them,
so I can't empathize when Avi is feeling sad.
I want you to now...
that he has plenty of father figures around.
They cheer him on at his games
and help pick him up when he's down.
I want you to know...
that I'm mad as hell, no actually I'm pissed.
There's been birthdays, Christmases,
celebrations, and other milestones that you've missed.
I want you to know...
that while you're missing out on watching him grow
Avi is missing out on anything!
I just thought that you should know.
