Put it in ALL of the papers, I'm not afraid. They can read all about it.

What is understood does not need to be explained. Obviously, you don't understand. So let me explain....
I have never once thought that I was "better" than anyone. I believe that we are all afforded the same opportunities. What we do with those opportunities is up to us. I refuse to allow any one the joy in seeing me fail. I refuse to allow anyone to be able to hold anything I've done in the past against me. You can not and will not dictate my future. Plain and simple. Since you want to throw hissy fits and TRY to throw "slugs" and wanna talk about my past, here it goes:

Let's talk about all of the worries and tears I had as a 17 year old pregnant girl in her senior year of high school. Let's talk about what it was like to be told (by family) how I was never going to amount to anything as a single mother. Let's talk about how I missed ONE DAY of my senior year and begged my doctor to allow me to go back to school so that I could be able to graduate with my class. Let's talk about how I worked until the day I went into labor and then returned to work not even three weeks later. Let's talk about how I NEVER asked Avion's biological father for anything. Everything that he needed I provided. Did I do it alone? No. I had help from my parents and sister. Let's talk about how I did graduate ON TIME. Let's talk about how I went to college and got TWO DEGREES. Let's talk about how I received my Basic Peace Officer Certificate. Let's talk about how I worked 12 hour night shifts and never once missed one of Avi's soccer games, classroom parties, or field trips. Let's talk about all of the sacrifices that I have made for him and never once have I regretted a thing.

So you see, for all the bad you think you know- I've done twice as much good. I'm not perfect. I do not claim to be. But for all of those things that I have done in the past, I have asked God to forgive me. I have a peace with my past, something you will never know because you are too simple minded. By trying to expose someone or "air their dirty laundry" because your mad shows not only your immaturity but your ignorance. I could definitely be as silly as you and start naming off the LONG list of the skeletons in your closet. I could make Facebook statuses to get people to like or comment on to be messy. But what would that prove? That I am just as ignorant as you! And I am not. It's always been said that the people that frown upon you the most is "your own kind". In my situation "my kind" isn't other black people, it's family. What a sad sad case.

I will not ever belittle myself or dumb myself down to make you feel better. Misery loves company and I am too blessed to allow you to bring me down with your miserable-ness. The difference between me and you isn't that I think that I am better. The difference is that I refuse to settle. PERIOD. Another difference between us is that I don't care what anyone walking this earth's surface thinks of me. I don't care about their judgments or who they think I am. What you think of me or say about my past won't push me into hell any more than it will stop me from entering into heaven.
Avi's father wasn't good for me- lesson learned. I didn't try to make him stick around because I had his child. I accepted the responsibility. My close "friends" backstabbed me- lesson learned. I don't go out to eat or clubbing with them. And I sure as hell don't share a baby daddy with my friends. I majored in criminal justice for 6 years and got my BPOC and worked at the jail for a year, I hated it- lesson learned. I didn't continue to wallow in self pity, I got up and found something I am passionate about- teaching. I got tired of getting cars from the mom and pop dealerships- lesson learned. I went out and got me a newer model car. The ONLY help I got was my step dad cosigning. I didn't ask him or my mom for my down payment. I don't like certain parts of this town- so why would I live there and raise my child there? It's not called being better, it's called not settling. My car isn't this nicest but it's mine. My job isn't the best but I love those students as if they were my own. My apartment isn't in the nicest neighborhood but I don't have to worry at night.

Am I so independent that I don't need help? NO FREAKING WAY. The Bible says that pride comes before your biggest downfall. Do I need help? At times. But I can honestly say that any money that I have ever gotten from my parents or sister, I have paid them back. When I have extra money I give it to them or buy them things. I don't wait for handouts. I don't think this world owes me a damn thing. Everything I got, I've worked my ass off to have and I will not feel bad for it. Instead of saying "she thinks she's better..." stop settling. Stop settling for that guy that shows you a little attention. If he can't do for you AND YOUR KIDS, why are you entertaining him? MOVE ON. For the past three years the same man has been in my life. Even when we aren't doing well, he still does for Avion. And if we ended tomorrow, he would continue to play the father role in my son's life because that is the kind of bond they have. Can you say that about the boys you have in and out of your bed?

What I am tired of is how the first thing that comes out of your mouth when your mad is "she thinks she's better...". SHUT THE HELL UP WITH THAT. Your just not happy with your life and want others to feel just as bad. BUT I WON'T. I WILL NOT feel bad for anything. My kid wears name brands because I work hard to buy it for him. But he also wears stuff from WalMart. And I love me some Goodwill, thrift stores, and garage sales.

That saying "blood is thicker than water" is only true when it comes to science. I'm tired of all of this insanity. No longer will I allow it in my life. If I don't speak to you, oh well. Get over it. It's not that I think I am better, it's that you are too messed up in the head and I have no room for that. You are who you surround yourself with and I am not going to become a Debbie Downer like you. As family, I love you. But I do not have to like you. I do not have to pretend to like you. I do not have to speak to you. SO I WON'T. Don't expect me to respond to text messages or answer phone calls. No, I will not cook for you, bake you a cake, babysit your children, drive you to the store, let you borrow money, or give you some of what I have. Instead I will pray even harder that the Lord guides you to get all of that evilness, hatred, selfishness, and ignorance out of your heart and soul. The devil comes in many forms- even family. With that being said, I am letting go and letting God handle all of that mess you bring. Go serve it up to someone else. I don't need it nor want it. Goodbye.