This past Sunday I sat in Sunday school listening to Sister Teacher H teaching and it seemed like everything that she was saying was meant for me. Then Pastor A began his sermon "What The Holy Spirit Does For Us (Romans 8:1-5)", again it was meant for me. I have felt sermons before but I've never FELT sermons before. Confusing, I know.
It was like the Holy Ghost was on fire inside of me. I can't explain, I just know it was an amazing feeling and I've been on a "high" every since. I felt the presence of the Lord and my Grandma Dorothy. Pastor said that what God wants more than anything is to be first in our lives. So during prayer I began to tell God that I was tired and that I needed Him- more than anything or anyone. I told Him that sometimes I feel hopeless, like I can't go on. I told Him that I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I told him that I wanted a peace. I told Him that I wanted to existing and start living.
Then I began to sing "Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary..." I wanted my heart and soul to be so full of the Lord that people didn't have to ask- they just knew. The Lord said "I give you life and I give it to you more abundantly." So why do we not serve Him the way we should. He wakes us up day after day. He watches over us as we sleep. Yet we still don't thank Him enough. We walk into a store and the person in front of us holds the door, we say thank you. We are reaching for something on a top shelf at Walmart, the person walking by grabs it, we say thank you. So why is it so hard to thank God in EVERY situation that occurs in our life?
Here lately, I've been so focused on how my life is and its not how I want it be. On December 19th my bank account was hacked and everything was stolen hours before I was supposed to pay for my son's bday party. I sat on my bedroom floor crying my eyes out. I was so mad. I yelled out "WHY? Why me Lord? Why not anyone else?" In my mind, I had had it. I was done with trying to be obedient only to get slapped in the face. I messaged my best friend and told her I was losing faith and I couldn't hold on any longer. Luckily, she knew what to say to hold me up. Not even an hour later people had bought the cupcakes for the party, sent me money for the party, got to the bowling alley, and people had paid for the party. I went outside later and there was $100 bill on my windshield saying that I had been a blessing to them so they wanted to be a blessing to me.
AIN'T HE GOOD? WON'T HE DO IT? YES HE WILL!
So many times we find ourselves questioning God and the things that happen to us. Over the past few weeks I have learned that instead of asking God why I am in a situation, I need to ask Him to shape me to be better because of that situation. I need to be able to accept the outcomes and know that it's in His will. Whatever it is God is asking me to put down, it's only because he's preparing me to pick up something even greater.
2015 will be my year. I have claimed it. John 16:24 says "Until now you have asked for nothing in my name: ask, so that your joy be made full." So I asked for things. Things that I may not get in the year 2015 but I know it's coming because the Lord can and will make a way out of no way!
What's on that list you ask? Graduation. Financial stability. A house with a huge kitchen and LOTS of counter space. Maybe even a husband :)
As for now, I am on a mission to lead people to Christ this year. Will it be you? Or you? Or all of you reading this blog, past blogs, or future blogs.
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