I wish that I could say I know how you feel but the truth is I don't. I don't know how it feels to not have that fatherly bond because I'v been blessed with two of them. I'm a woman, so there is a lot that I can never teach you, like how to stand up and pee (that was a question for Poppa). I can tell you about the birds and the bees but there will be questions that I still cannot answer. I won't know how it feels when you have your first broken heart because of some silly girl.
But I am your mother. I carried you inside of me for 9 months (eh, more like 8, you decided you were done baking a month early). I felt you live on my inside and now I watch live on my outside. I watched you pee on the side of the toilet cause neither of knew how to aim. I've waited in front of doors so that you would learn to to open them for women. I have given you stern looks when you burp so that you say excuse me afterwards. I've made you sit out on the sidelines of games for not doing your school work, not to embarrass you but to build character.
I'm here. I will always be here. I will laugh at your jokes, even the ones that aren't funny or the ones I don't understand. I will be your number one fan, and even when you don't win, you'll always be my MVP. When your heart breaks because of that silly girl I'll be there to make your favorite meal. When you have questions, I'll do my best to answer them (or Google, cause that's what we do best).
His absence is not a bad thing. He is not a bad person. You are not a bad child. The Lord had these plans for each our lives before we were even born. I won't allow you to let this dim your light because of this pain. You are wanted. You are loved. You were born for a reason. For a purpose. You have a destiny that is so much greater than this moment of your life. Cry if you must, that's what my shoulder is for. That's why they made Kleenex. But despite your current circumstances- refuse to sink, my son, refuse to sink!
Allow these insecurities about not knowing him motivate you. Push yourself harder. Push yourself to accomplish goals despite of his absence. You asked me if I thought you could be POTUS, when I said yes- I meant it. Work for that. Mama wants to know what it's like to walk the halls of The White House. Continue to make good grades and excel in sports. He may never make it to a game but I will always be there to cheer you and embarrass you from the sideline. Sometimes we expect things from people that they don't to give. Let his absence go and allow yourself to grow.
Love,
Mama
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