Baby Mama

Baby Mama<-- I absolutely hate those words.

"Who are you?"  "Oh I'm so and so's baby mama".
"Oh that's my baby mama- we just cool."

What real WOMAN would accept that title? Not me. Its plain out ignorant. Am I with my sons biological father? No. Am I just his baby's mama? Absolutely not. In fact, I'm nothing to him (as he is to me). However, I am Avion's mother. I have enjoyed being a single mother. Crazy, I know.  But I've never been that girl who would constantly sleep with a guy to keep him around. I've never been that girl that uses her child to keep the father coming back. I've never been that girl that is okay with the father of my child cheating or having multiple kids by other females. Nope... I've always been that WOMAN who knew her worth. "I come first." Ha. How about "I'm the only one... No seconds or thirds. Just me!" A real woman knows she deserves this and will refuse to allow her child's father to run in and out of the kid's life.

Do I want a family? Of course. But its going to be with a God fearing man willing to be with me AND ONLY ME. A man willing to put a ring on my finger and make me more than a "baby mama".

Confession: So many times I've wanted to hate Avion's biological father. Hate him for leaving me to raise him alone. Hate him for blaming me. Then I think of all I have accomplished. Every tear I cried made me work that much harder. Every night I had to get up to feed him or change diapers made me that much more responsible. Each time Avi hugs/kisses me makes me love him more. I selfishly don't want to share him and glad he's all mine. I've been trying to teach Avi about life- ironically, he's teaching me how to live!