Marriage

People keep asking me when I'm gonna get married or have more kids. My answer has been and will be "when I'm ready". Not only that but also when the Lord puts it on my heart. It makes no sense to get married "just because".
Just because I'm getting older.
Just because I have a child.
Just because its the right thing.
Just because my friends are.
I love you girls but I'm not rushing down the aisle so I won't be the only single one. Nope. Not me. It'll happen when its supposed to happen. I'm not the 'settling' type. I want it all. I deserve it. I also deserve a MAN that thinks I'm worth it. I'm a fighter. So I need a man who's willing to get in the ring and fight with me... For us. For Avi.
You see, when you get me you get a special deal: 2 for 1. If a man can't accept my son, why would I want him? I've been a single parent and although its hard its not impossible.
I don't want any surprises once I am married. Therefore I want to get everything out in the open before hand. I don't want to be married for a couple of years then realize my husband has a secret addiction or likes to hit me. How will I explain that to my son? I've been hurt before... I know what a broken heart feels like so I'll be damned if I'm gonna be the reason Avi has one.
The Bible talks about being equally yoked. I don't need a man who doesn't love God as much as me. I need someone who'll go to church WITH us, as a family. Someone not afraid to do mission work for others. The devil is everywhere... So I need a man who understands that and keeps his eyes open.
I'm not the prettiest, skinniest, tallest, smartest, nicest woman in the world. But when I love- I love hard. I love with all I have. Am I perfect? Heck no. But each day I try to get that much closer to the woman the Lord intends for me to be. They say you know the moment you meet someone that you're gonna marry them. If that's true I haven't met that guy yet. But I'm not discouraged. In fact I'm relieved. Who's to say I won't be married by this time next year? If I am, great. If not, even better. It'll happen on God's time. Which means it'll last a lifetime. Divorce isn't an option. I'll take my vows to heart: til death do us part. There's no fighting then leaving. That's the problem with most couples... But it won't be that way with me. That's why I'll wait until the Lord sees fit for me to marry.