Motivation

Restless. Overwhelmed. Distraught. Saddened. Discouraged. Depressed.

Just a few emotions I have felt. At times I've felt like a failure. A couple of times I was on the verge of giving up. For some reason God didn't allow that. Actually not for SOME reason, for ONE reason. Avion. As I've said plenty of times before that child came along when I was at a dark place in my life. Lord knows the thoughts I was thinking. The emotions running through me. I was ready to give up. But I didn't because of him.
On my worst days that I feel like the lowest of the low I can look at him and push on. When I am around him, just us two, I feel like the most important woman alive. If I am sad he instantly cheers me.

With him I know failure is not an option.

The other day he came to me and said "mama you're the best gift I could get. I love you." Then he went on to say he wanted to get closer to God. So we got up early Sunday & went to Sunday school instead of just our normal church service. He was so excited about it. He makes me want to do better. For him.

This is a dedication to him. Because he loves me regardless.
Regardless if I'm broke.
Regardless if I wear make up.
Regardless if I'm in heels.
Regardless if I punish him.
Regardless of my faults or shortcomings.
Regardless.

That boy. My twin.
He loves me unconditionally.
What better feeling?

If I accomplish nothing else before I die, being his mom is by far the best thing I could ever be. A woman's calling is to be a Godly mom && that's what I intend on being. For Avion.

Confession: before my son I was ready to die. Really die. God blessed me with him to restore my faith & strength. It took courage to be a single mom at 17 just graduating high school. But I did it. Without Avi I doubt I could be here. For that I am eternally grateful. I owe that child my life. LITERALLY.